respite in blue

my doctor asked me a while back
whether I smoked
I said no
but I’m thinking of taking it up again
he didn’t laugh
but then I wasn’t joking

I used to think life without smoking
wouldn’t be worth living
what it bought you was
solace
centering
a respite in blue

my mother used to say
a cigarette was her one last friend
I never knew what she meant till now

so long anyhow