Without knowing

I woke up this morning
to find snow

at the kitchen table
where the cat had been

before me
without knowing

expect more of the same tomorrow
said a voice on the radio

looking through clear glass
onto nothing

forsaken as snow
and loving it

loving this
without knowing


The flat was in Rue Montmartre as I recall,
a sequence of pictures hung upon a wall
that explained the meaning of time;
photos in black and white of geometric shapes,
unusual shapes that held the eye, disturbed the eye.

I sat in a corner café much concerned,
ran back to find a tenant now installed,
a face I barely recognised at first,
to whom I would explain once and for all,
the meaning of those pictures on the wall.

I failed to make him understand a thing
of how as a totality all exists,
and screamed: ‘Just let me see them one last time’,
ran into the room to find them gone
and in their place instead, but lately hung,
the portrait of a mother holding child.

‘Too late,’ I said. ‘I’ve come here far too late.’

Now in my head I tread forever more,
the dingy inner stair, first up, then down,
in vain, not getting anywhere at all.

The flat was in Rue Montmartre as I recall.